For more than 30 years, as a physician, a healthcare executive, and now an executive advisor, I’ve watched accomplished women lead by two sets of rules: the ones they were raised on, and the ones others use to judge their leadership. I help them see both clearly so they stop over-explaining decisions they’re qualified to make, hold their position under pushback, and lead with an ease they didn’t have before.
The invisible side of leadership
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There’s a part of leadership that no one can see. It won’t show up on your résumé. It’s difficult to capture in a performance review. And you probably won’t find it listed among the competencies in your organization’s leadership model. But it shapes nearly everything people experience when they work with you. I think of it as the invisible architecture of leadership. We tend to think about leadership in terms of what we can observe.
But all of those things are being built on something underneath. What you believe about yourself as a leader.
What you believe you have the authority to do.
What you make resistance mean.
Whether you trust your own judgment.
Whether you believe you need everyone to agree before you can move forward.
Whether you walk into a difficult conversation already bracing for conflict or grounded in what needs to happen.
And then there’s the energy you bring with you.
Urgency. Steadiness. Defensiveness. Conviction. Hesitancy. Openness.
People may never consciously label those things. But they experience them. Two leaders can say almost exactly the same words and create two completely different experiences. One says, “This is the direction we’re going,” while internally wondering whether she’s overstepping, rehearsing how she’ll defend the decision, and watching the room for signs of disapproval. Another says the same thing from a settled belief that making the call is part of her responsibility. Same words. Very different leadership. This is why changing your leadership can’t only be about changing what you do. You can learn a better way to delegate. A stronger communication framework. A new approach to difficult conversations. Those things matter. But if underneath them you still believe you have to prove yourself, keep everyone happy, have all the answers, or personally carry everything important, that belief will eventually find its way into how you lead. Your leadership identity, what you believe to be true about yourself as a leader, is the foundation of how you lead. And once you start paying attention to that invisible layer, something else becomes apparent. You’re leading far more often than you probably realize. You’re leading in what you choose not to react to. In what you allow other people to own. In the assumptions you question. In how you enter a room after a difficult morning. In whether you absorb everyone else’s urgency or decide what actually deserves yours. In what you tolerate, what you challenge, and what you stop carrying. None of those moments may look particularly impressive from the outside. But together, they create the experience of your leadership. The visible part is simply what everyone else eventually gets to see. Here’s to paying attention to what it’s built on, Denée PS: What’s one belief you hold about yourself as a leader that you know affects how you lead? I’d love to hear it. PSS: My latest YouTube video is out, How She Reclaimed Her Authority After a Leadership Reorg. You can watch it here. Denée Choice, MD, MMM |
Choice Leadership Consulting
For more than 30 years, as a physician, a healthcare executive, and now an executive advisor, I’ve watched accomplished women lead by two sets of rules: the ones they were raised on, and the ones others use to judge their leadership. I help them see both clearly so they stop over-explaining decisions they’re qualified to make, hold their position under pushback, and lead with an ease they didn’t have before.
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