For more than 30 years, as a physician, a healthcare executive, and now an executive advisor, I’ve watched accomplished women lead by two sets of rules: the ones they were raised on, and the ones others use to judge their leadership. I help them see both clearly so they stop over-explaining decisions they’re qualified to make, hold their position under pushback, and lead with an ease they didn’t have before.
Held to a different standard
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This fall I asked women leaders on LinkedIn to choose their biggest challenge in leadership right now. The number one answer was being held to a different standard. That didn’t surprise me. The standard is real. Women leaders are judged more harshly for the same decisions and the same mistakes as the men around them. But I’ve noticed something else. When you’ve lived with a different standard long enough, you start holding yourself to it. You prepare for a meeting as if every point will be challenged, because some of them have been. You over-explain decisions you’re qualified to make. You soften a recommendation before anyone has pushed back on it. You wait until you’re certain before you speak up, but by then the decision has been made. None of that feels like holding back. It feels like being careful. It feels like doing the job well. That’s why it’s so hard to see. The standard that started outside of you is now shaping how you show up: what you say in meetings, how much space you take up, and what you let yourself go after next. When the women I work with see this clearly, they stop applying it to themselves. Not all at once (it’s a well-worn habit). But one step at a time. They prepare for what the meeting actually requires. They stop over-explaining decisions they’re qualified to make. They make the recommendation they actually believe in, without softening it first. They share a point of view before they can prove it’s right, while it can still influence the decision. And they walk into high-stakes conversations with an ease they didn’t have before. You can’t change the standard other people hold you to on your own. The one you hold yourself to is yours to change. That's what it means to lead by your own standard. Here's to setting the standard for your own leadership, Denée PS: If you see yourself in this, it's exactly what we work through in a complimentary Leadership Advisory Session. I have a few available. Book yours here. PSS: In case you missed it, my new video is live on YouTube. 📽️ Watch the full video on YouTube. “You’re Great at Your Job, But Sometimes Feel Like a Below Average Leader. Here’s Why.” You can watch it here. Denée Choice, MD, MMM |
Choice Leadership Consulting
For more than 30 years, as a physician, a healthcare executive, and now an executive advisor, I’ve watched accomplished women lead by two sets of rules: the ones they were raised on, and the ones others use to judge their leadership. I help them see both clearly so they stop over-explaining decisions they’re qualified to make, hold their position under pushback, and lead with an ease they didn’t have before.
Just a quick note to share that my latest YouTube video is out: 🎥 You're Great at Your Job, But Sometimes Feel Like a Below Average Leader. Here's Why. If you missed my October masterclass, The Leadership Confidence Code, this is the first in a new series of videos covering several of its key concepts. 🎥 Watch the full video here. ~ Denée
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