For more than 30 years, as a physician, a healthcare executive, and now an executive advisor, I’ve watched accomplished women lead by two sets of rules: the ones they were raised on, and the ones others use to judge their leadership. I help them see both clearly so they stop over-explaining decisions they’re qualified to make, hold their position under pushback, and lead with an ease they didn’t have before.
Lesson 4: The leader in any room is the one with the strongest emotional energy
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Think about a regular team meeting. Nothing dramatic happening, no crisis, nothing on the agenda that matters more than usual. And still, the room organizes around whoever's energy is strongest that day, regardless of who's running it. Energy is contagious, and it cuts both ways. Watch what happens when one person in the room starts spiraling, sky is falling, everything is urgent. The room absorbs it whether anyone wants to or not. Now watch what happens when the person with the steadiest nervous system in the room is the one setting the tone instead. The room absorbs that too. Most leadership advice never gets past the surface stuff, standing taller, speaking more confidently, taking up more space. None of that works if what's underneath doesn't back it up. Say your morning was filled with stress and conflict before you even got to the office. You still don't have to bring that energy into the room. But that only happens if you've done the work ahead of time. Regulating yourself isn't something you improvise in the moment. It's something you've practiced enough that it's there when you need it. On autopilot. That's what a regulated nervous system actually gives you day to day. Not the absence of stress. The ability to walk into a room without whatever happened an hour ago still running through you. Here's to the energy you bring to the room, Denée PS: Think of someone whose energy pulled a room toward them without effort. What do you think was underneath it? Hit reply and tell me. Denée Choice, MD, MMM |
Choice Leadership Consulting
For more than 30 years, as a physician, a healthcare executive, and now an executive advisor, I’ve watched accomplished women lead by two sets of rules: the ones they were raised on, and the ones others use to judge their leadership. I help them see both clearly so they stop over-explaining decisions they’re qualified to make, hold their position under pushback, and lead with an ease they didn’t have before.
A few days ago, I had a conversation with an accomplished woman physician who was negotiating a new leadership opportunity. She was being recruited to build a program from the ground up. She had the expertise, the experience, and a clear understanding of what it would take to succeed. She also knew what could go wrong. She'd been in a similar situation before, where the promised resources never materialized. This time, she was determined to do things differently. So she did what many highly...
I’ve noticed a pattern in how the women I work with develop over time. It usually doesn’t look dramatic from the outside. They’re still accomplished, thoughtful, and deeply committed to doing excellent work. But they stop leading like they have something left to prove. They start leading from a different place. They trust their judgment more. They spend less time wondering whether they’re ready and more time deciding what they think. They become more discerning about where their time,...
There’s a part of leadership that no one can see. It won’t show up on your résumé. It’s difficult to capture in a performance review. And you probably won’t find it listed among the competencies in your organization’s leadership model. But it shapes nearly everything people experience when they work with you. I think of it as the invisible architecture of leadership. We tend to think about leadership in terms of what we can observe. How you communicate. How you make decisions. How you...